I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
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I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
where are you?
Hypothermia
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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