I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
