I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
