Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
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July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
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In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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