Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
