life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
another moral hangover. fuck.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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