Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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