that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
