you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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