Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
