Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
you never un-have a 4some
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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