I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
