It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
