he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
