I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
