so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
