how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize