everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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