i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
