She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
