He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
