She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
