I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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