I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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