It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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