so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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