Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Randomize
