My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
