so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
