I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
