proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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