take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
