SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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