no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
