he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's shark week go big or go home
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize
