Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
