I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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