dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Found your dick twin last night
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
