If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
