i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
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