RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
