'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
