In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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