If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.