would you consider him our boss?
then technically i slept with our boss
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0