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Her vagina should come with caution tape.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
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