Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
i think im in europe. pls send help
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that