where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...