i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
did i just pee glitter
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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