Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.