literally had 100 drinks last night.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.