He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
