My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize