So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
