i think my mom watched the whole time
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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