moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
