Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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