Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
