today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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