Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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