omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
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I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
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did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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