I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize