hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Congratulations! We have a period
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
