I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
