Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
