You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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