He kissed a someone with a penis
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
