You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
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He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
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Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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