I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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