Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Say something about gay babies.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My life is pants optional.
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