I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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