Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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