Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
